success?

I have been pondering on what it means to have a successful life. What markers do we look for when we judge a life? It seems to me that on all the markers our society recognise, my life is currently spectacularly unsuccessful!

• I am single and haven't had a partner since the mid 90's - a cardinal failure in our world.
• I am fairly impressively downwardly mobile in my career and I am, on most scales, judged as poor as far as income is concerned. I do not have a house and have few possessions.
• I don't care a jot for my appearance, as long as I am clean. I have saggy bits and the odd wrinkle and I haven't worn make up since I moved aboard the boat. I have even let the dye grow out of my hair and can now see a fair amount of grey!
• As a water gypsy I have no status and am regarded as just above the level of a land gypsy by a lot of people.
• Having been 'a leader of men' in both my previous careers, I now have no influence or power over anybody except my dog - and not that much over her!
• Spiritually, I have walked away from a privileged position in the Church and am now homeless as far as a faith position is concerned.
• I have no ambition to 'better myself' as far as any of the above is concerned!

So I should be deeply unhappy if not suicidal! But what if we as a society used different indicators of success. Would we be a happier people?

• Instead of narrow romantic / sexual relationships, what if we judged ourselves on the quality of our wider relationships - with family, friends, our neighbours. For example I know the first names of all my neighbours and there are at least 20 boats on my mooring. How many neighbours are you on first name terms with? And what about strangers; I make a point of smiling at or greeting everyone I pass (unless I'm in town where it is pretty difficult!) If I'm waiting in a queue, I try and chat to the person next to me. I refuse to buy into the myth that strangers are dangerous and not to be looked at, let alone spoken to. What would our society look like if civility returned? If we smiled and nodded, doffed our hats and said, 'No, after you' occasionally?
• What if, instead of judging people on the number of things they own, we rated ourselves on how interesting we are, how much wisdom we have accrued, how kind we are, how closely we are living to our ideals? On this scale I have to admit I have a way to travel, but at least I've started on the road.
• And in our career, what if we were appraised on how much we helped our fellow workers, rather than trying to beat them up the greasy pole. What if the quality of what we did was judged, not on how much money or power we have accrued for the company but on how much the world was a better place because of what we have done? What if we judged our work, not on how much we earn or how far we have risen but on how closely our work matches our skills, our personality, our dreams?
• Instead of the cult of beauty / slimness / celebrity, what if we judged ourselves on how happy and content we are in our own skins. What if we looked at different types of faces, bodies, abilities or colours as part of the amazing variety of life and to be celebrated rather than trying to force everybody to conform into some sort of media induced ideal?
• As far as faith in concerned, what if instead of defending our beliefs against all comers, insisting on whatever we believe is the only way, we developed the quality of curiosity about other beliefs. What if we could look at something very different from what we believe and ask 'what can we learn from this?'
• What if, instead of focusing on how successful we are, instead we looked at how happy and fulfilled we are? Then, on this scale, I would be successful indeed! What about you?