power issues continued...

Just to prove that living on a boat isn't all peaceful cruising through idylic landscapes, my boat has decided to take me onto the next level of testing and learning.

I have already mentioned that I am finding it difficult to keep my batteries in a healthy state now I'm off shore (mains) power. Well, I had blamed it on my dying 12 volt fridge. It took me a couple of months of nursing the fridge before I could afford to replace it, but only with a 240v one. That means (for the uninitiated) that I have to use another machine (an inverter) to change the 12volt power coming out of my batteries to 240volt that the fridge (and TV) works on. This machine also takes power to work.

Once I got my shiny new fridge and settled down to watch TV in the evening, I quickly discovered that power flowed alarmingly out of my batteries and within a couple of hours they were down below 50% charge - which is not good for them. Within a week, I found myself sitting in the dark - worried about even putting a light on - and crying with frustration and anxiety.

My real lesson through this though was not about managing power, but managing priorities. I could choose to have the fridge on (at least some of the time) or the TV but not both and neither for any length of time. You would think the choice was easy, but it wasn't. On the evening when the power consumption was really bad and I sat in the dark, I realised how much I use my TV to stave off any feelings of loneliness. During the day I never notice the fact that I am alone, but at night, especially as the evenings are getting darker and on this day, the rain was coming down, I suddenly felt very isolated and alone. I also felt quite scared - not of the Bogie Man, but of my vast ignorance when it comes to the inner workings of my boat and the feeling that it's all down to me.

In the morning, as is usually the case, nothing looked quite as bad. I also was reminded that I'm not alone as one boater lent me a cooler box to use and offered to swap my 240v fridge for his older but servicable 12v one when he returns from being away. Another helped me wire the cooler box in and a third couple from my mooring - who have become good friends, lent me their sympathetic shoulders to cry on!

I think the biggest lesson to take from all this is that I need to face my fears and issues rather than distracting myself from them by using TV or hobbies or alcohol. None of these things are bad in themselves and I'm quite happy to indulge in them all some of the time, but I've got to learn not to rely on them to hide from the more difficult parts of life.

It seems to me that this living on a boat lark is all about letting things go and travelling light. I've already let go of things like the security of having a house and the support of being part of society (mains power, water etc provided for me). I have given up lots of possessions because firstly of the downsizing from house to boat and then because of financial circumstances. This is just another giving up and although all these letting go's have been painful or difficult, I believe they have all been good for my soul and that's the important thing!